Okay, half my readers will probably jump ship right here...

But I have to say it.

I am so not excited about the new Alice in Wonderland.


Okay, if there's anyone still reading, there are a couple of issues I have with the whole thing.

One, Tim Burton. Face it, this guy peaked at Edward Scissorhands and his films have been going downhill ever since. Corpse Bride. Willy Wonka. Sleepy Hollow. The Nightmare Before Christmas. Even Sweeney Todd. They're all packed with the same over-the-top contrived 'crazy' Burton imagery, all twisty trees, black, red, and white stripes, and characters with big dark circles under their eyes to show how emotionally tortured they are. Alice looks like it will be much of the same. He's the awkward gothy kid's George Lucas: too much money and nobody to tell him to step back a little.

Two, teenage girls. The Burton over-obsessive cult fanbase. Outcast high schoolers who think their creativity and uniqueness are why people don't 'understand' them. Said creativity and uniqueness will surely be the founts of millions of awful fanarts, Halloween costumes, makeup tutorials, and increased feelings of self-importance as they see Alice in theatres and realise 'omg, that was my idea!!1!', which brings me to...

I know, I know, they're wearing Twilight shirts. Somehow, I'm still pretty sure a good 98% of them are Burton fans.

Three, it's a fucking fanfiction. Now, I have nothing against good fanfiction. If you want to go and take some of your favourite characters and places and write a new story about them -- face it, it's fun -- go right ahead. But GOOD fanfiction will avoid all of the terrible plot fallbacks that Alice appears to be taking. This is not a remake of the original Alice story, it's a sequel. From the summaries finding their way onto the internets, Alice is a 19-year-old Victorian girl about to be betrothed to someone she (omg, who would've guessed?) Does Not Love, so she escapes back to Wonderland and is told that she is the One and Only Person who can save everyone from the tyranny of the Red Queen. Also, maybe she has a romance with the Mad Hatter, who is suddently Hot.

Or not. But that's Johnny Depp, so it's okay!

Pretty much, I'm just over the whole 'Burtonifying-Victorian-aesthetics' thing. The Romantic Goths are doing well on their own, there's no need to make it extra-tacky with mushrooms and creepy twisty smiles. We get it. Making stuff weird is 'edgy'. How about somebody stay true to the source material for once?

I might see this when it comes out on DVD. The Golden Compass is still shading my book-to-film cinema experience with unadulterated vomitrocity, so I think I'll play it safe with this one.

Eavesdropped outside in the COLD.

Girl on cellphone: But (pause)... but (pause)... but (pause)... but (long pause)... but (pause)... but (longer pause)... but (pause)...

(Yeah, I counted. Seven. What could the person on the other side possibly have been saying?)

Am I really that weird?

Here's a picture of a cute little turtle. RaNdOm!!1!

I'm in a creative writing class this semester and the first thing we've been talking about is good characterization. For the past two classes we've all been writing characterizations of ourselves, which is kind of fun in itself, but the teacher is so bent on us concentrating on our "weird" characteristics. Yes, I know everyone has odd little quirks and things, but the degree to which she's pushing this "You're so WEIRD! Be weird and PROUD!" thing on us just makes me think of the badly-dressed socially inept announcing how weird and "rAnDoM" they are. I mean, I'm all for embracing your quirks and knowing your strengths and weaknesses, but I think we're all old enough to begin doing that like adults. Right?

Anyway, we had to come up with a bunch of weird things about ourselves. These are mine!

• I seem to not like my food fully cooked. Every time I order a steak or a burger (or used to, anyway... veggie time!), it's as rare as I can have it. Eggs? Runny yolks. Fish? Sushi! And vegetables and fruits I like raw and crunchy with dressing. I suppose veggies aren't all that weird to like uncooked, but all the meat I've ever ordered? I think some of it was still alive.

• I don't want children. Luckily, Tom feels the same way! I have so many reasons for this it could be its own post.

• All my electronics have names. The laptop is Declan (the old one was Dmitri). The iPod is Benvolio. The D3000 is Caspian. My little sister did this too when we were little. Every time there were peaches in the kitchen, she would adopt one and name it Cynthia.

• In kindergarten one day, my teacher handed out bits of newspaper articles so all the kids could circle the capital letters and underline all the names and such. When I went home, I asked my mom what 'abortion' was. She called my teacher, frantic at where I learned that word. Guess I'd gotten the article on Planned Parenthood or something. Thus, my mom learned about my accelerated reading ability.

Anyone want to share weird things about themselves?

To veg or not to veg?

I've sort of added an interesting resolution to my goals for the beginning of this year.

For the remainder of the semester, I am going to try a vegetarian diet.

Well, that's a lie. I am going to try a pescetarian diet, that is, vegetarian plus fish. I don't think I could give up on sushi no matter how hard I tried. I will also keep eating butter, milk, eggs, and that sort of thing. Not going super-crunchy vegan style, here. Baby steps.

Lemon hummus via Weekend Carnivore.

Vegetarian pho via Pink Bites.

Arugula and polenta with roasted squash via Delementals.

Plantain and spinach kofta via My Feasts.

Vegetarian breakfast muffin via Cooking 4 Carnivores.

On the menu today: miso soup and cranberry juice. Om nom!

Any vegetarian/vegan readers out there? Tips for a n00b?

Pining...

A year ago today I was pulling up to my new home in the greatest city in the world.


I may or may not have an awesome plan to try to go back... I'll update when I have significant developments, but for now I don't want to jinx it...