Designing on crack.

There is no good reason why this shoe exists. Just look at it. You just *know* that someone was trying to come up with an 'edgy' new shoe that all the hip kids will like, but with something about it that will make a good percentage of those hip kids really, really hate it, so that the remainder will feel that much better about being on the cutting-edge of fashion.


The only cutting-edge I see in this greasy-looking mistake is the top edge that goes around one's ankle. Great painful blisters predicted.

Oh, and it also comes in this lovely industrial gold rubber colour. The seams where you can tell your shoe has been poured into and popped out of a mold are really classy this season.

The biggest travesty about these monsters? The $100 price tag. Yes. One hundred dollars. For what are, essentially, big Barbie shoes.

Final verdict: are you a nine-year-old in 1992? No? Then you have no business wearing jelly-plastic shoes. If you are, in fact, a nine-year-old who has time travelled here from 1992 and is looking to show up the rest of your jelly-sandal-wearing 4th grade class, have your mommy drive you to the mall real quick and pick up a pair. Seventeen years from then, I'll be sure to recongise you by your shrivelly blistered feet.